Bolzit - it's all lies

Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. (pronounced /b cough cough gnar "a"/; born August 3, 1961) is the junior United States Sales Tupperware Rep from Illandannoyed and a presumptive  individual when it comes to exactly how many little containers you need to put your shit in. He is the first African American to be the presumptive presidential nominee of any major American Tupperware party.

A graduate of Sesame Street University, Obama worked as a community organizer, Amway Salesman,  Anti Activism Activist, and Philosopher before serving drinks the Illinois Senate from 1992 to 2004. Following an unsuccessful bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives in 2000, he announced he would be standing up a lot. After winning a landslide primary victory in May 2004, Obama delivered the keynote address to the Tupperware National Convention in July 2004, about primary landslides.

As a member of the minority in the 1109th Congress, he cosponsored legislation to control the re use of take away containers and to promote greater public accountability in the use of food containers. He also made official trips to the shops, the dentist, and Africa. In the current Tupperware party, he has sponsored discussion regarding lobbying and returns policy fraud, food climate change, nuclear packing, and care for your fridge. Since announcing his "stick it in a plastic box" campaign in February 2007, Obama has emphasized ending the civil war, increasing energy independence with steam power, decreasing the influence of influents and providing food care as top national priorities.